Do I worry too much about inconveniencing women?

I'd say its misplaced consideration. Women want a male that has not only respect for them but also has a sexual interest in them, I know it sounds odd to some guys but its true. Women are looking for that guy that make them feel "wanted" so Im sure the guy who was making small talk just either came off as cheesy or the girl didn't find him attractive at all to begin with which is common and ok. You may see women as a victim and you might be inadvertently looking for a women whom you can rescue. The problem with that is women dont really need or want rescuing when it comes to courtship. They want to be pursued. They want that HUNTER type male who appears strong enough to get what he needs, a good provider. But keep in mind that even while pursuing a woman, you must remain respectful or else, she's gone. Which brings up another point and actually a very common theme in men. You probably dont respect women entirely if you hold a view of them as a victim. Work on seeing them as equal counterparts. When the true respect starts to show then so will that social energy you need to land a hottie, imo. And dont worry about the blokes who can gab with any female at anytime. Some are really good at it and others just dont care about the girl and are lying to them. It is like throwing a frisbee, you gotta get the concept down, then practice so you can get good at finding a girlfriend. Hope this helps.