Is there any help for me? please read it all?

I am 19, ever since I finished school, I have completly lost myself. I feel like nobody is going through what I m going through..but I know other people hav problems too but I am ******. I cant be around people anymore, I cant talk to people anymore, I cant concentrate, I cant laugh, cant cry..when I am doing anything, its like I cant think, my eyes just look at things...not even looking...but its impossble to explain. you have to be me to understand. I have lived lik this for a year, it is having terrible effects on my health. I always kept fit, but now I breath so much faster an heavier, my heart absolutely pounds....It is like wind is blowing on my top or tshirt when I am doing exercise, that is how stressed I am. I even see my pulse pounding through my neck and feel it so much and hear it booming and booming. I went to a doctors, tried meds...but it didnt help, tried talking to a pro, didnt help. To do anything is so so hard...I just want to die. but I have a family that loves me. they are heartbroken to see me like this. people stare at me everywhere I go because I look so depressed...I am gone really pale, have huge dark bags under my eyes and my eyes are really bloodshot all the time. I want to die but am afraid of the pain of hanging myself, but i I had a gun I would. I have lost myself...I havent hung out with someone for 1year now and woulnt be able to now. they would think I am a complete psycho